A brief update

Good morning.
A very brief post today
Just so you know I haven’t dropped off the planet.

Sorry again for the gap between posts. Still it’s better to write when I have something to say rather than force it.
I do feel bad for not posting though.

No major theme today. Just a quick update 
I’m doing ok overall a few minor stresses but nothing too bad. Work computer crashing putting my foot in the mouth the usual. 
One thing off note. I got a new coffee jar.
I smashed my mam’s old one.
Not on purpose I decided to pour coffee straight from the jar with wet hands and the jar slipped. Coffee got everywhere. Mam was thrilled. I got a new jar so we’re gonna pretend it never happened. Joking aside it did teach me a lesson about being careless 

Other than that things are fine.
Work is going good. I feel happy. A few tech issues working from home but on the whole it’s good.

Outside of work. Health doing ok.
I put 3 pound back on last couple of weeks. I tried really hard  last week and got it off again so am back on track.  Sort off. Broke even at least 😊
Still getting excercise in each day.
On whole I feel good. Healthy

Being doing more poetry events and creative writing recently. I actually did have some good news o in January I had a piece of poetry published in a small online magazine called Up. Up is an online magazine ran by Harry Gallagher a very successful poet. He runs a lot of events and workshops as well as doing his own work. Great man. Was flattered to get this small piece. Made me more motivated to try and do more on the writing front. Don’t normally talk much about my creative writing on this blog but yeah I won’t deny it felt good. Made not seem like much to some but it made my day.

Right that’s enough blowing my own horn. Let me just read the bit about the coffee. Right ego is back in check. I’ll leave you all for now. Have a good night.

We delve into my mind

Good morning. Sorry for yet again not posting for a while. Still all good things come to those who wait
Tonights post will be a short one. Recently my mam commented on the fact that I always place a couple of cushions on the floor when I go to bed. When asked why my only response was “I just do it”  I started doing it as a kid as I would sometimes roll out of bed. I guess it just became part of my routine. No big deal really. Not necessary either.
It got me thinking though as high functioning as I am I have my little eccentricities. Every person on the spectrum does. Often we find these things so hard to break and can’t explain why. I thought I’d share a few of mine. I will condense my explanation for them or this post would never end.

1: Rereading: I reread pages in books a lot. I hate losing my train of thought in a book.  I always become paranoid when I leave a book for a while that I will forget important plot details. Often I will start the first couple of chapters off a book. Then get distracted come back in a couple of week and make myself reread them. All  just to ensure I’m not missing anything. Often I know what’s happened but don’t want to miss something relevant I’ve forgotten. Oddly this doesn’t stop me skipping ahead in books I’ve already read and love. Because I know them. My brain is so contradictory.

2:Toothpaste : Another quirk which I recently stopped was rinsing the tooth paste tube after using it. My mam mentioned recently that it was always wet and filled with water.  I know rationally it’s not dirty but somehow when I handle it and spit the paste out it makes me feel like I don’t know it might be dirty somehow. From my hands or when I spit. I know that’s stupid. It’s just an impulse thing. I’ve stopped doing that now. So yay me I guess?
3: My baggage: I carry a rucksack a lot. This may not be to weird lots of people do have them. I use one for work and my lunch which is pretty normal. However if I’m going somewhere like into town alone I normally have it even if I’m only carrying a book in it. It’s just habit. Properly a throwback to when I was a kid. I used to love packing bags. I even did it at other people’s houses. So it’s properly a comfort thing. I know don’t need one. It’s not like it bothers me too much I wouldn’t take one on a night out (remember those)or for a walk, unless it was a hike. If I’m going to the shops or on an errand though I like to have my rucksack. It feels more comfortable. If it’s not there I keep looking for it then remembering. I’m not so bothered about having one if I go out with people though. Not sure what that is about? Maybe a confidence thing?

4: Cutlery: Ok this one is just daft. I hold my fork the wrong way round. Don’t judge me here. I don’t consciously do this it just happens. I ate with the fork the other way for years before someone noticed. I hold it like this.


Most people hold it like this.  I don’t

I know the other way is the normal one, but I don’t get it. The first way is easier to get stuff like veg, rice etc. It just makes more sense. I won’t give in on this one. Seriously though this quirk bothers me the least. It’s not even something most people notice.
5: Making up my run’s: This one is very specific to me and relates to one of my main hobbies running. When I run I use a smart watch that logs my distance. Sometimes I have to slow or stop. To tie my shoes, to give people space or to wait for traffic when crossing a road. I know these actions will not add that much to my distance if anything. I feel though I need to do something at the end untimed to even the scale. Often I will stop the watch and do a short run like two minutes and say to myself that will cover it. Absurd I know.

6: Me vs me: I talk to myself. A lot. It helps me to clear my head and get my thoughts in order. Normally I do it when processing things. I try to do it alone but have had a few embarrassing moments when I’ve been waking and found that something slipped out around people. I think this is actually a good technique for short term stress relieve. Often giving voice to your insecurities and hearing them said out loud can make them seem a bit more manageable. Often irrational fears or worry don’t sound so bad when said aloud often the opposite. Obviously this won’t solve your problems but I find it very good for calming myself down. It often helps to imagine what someone’s you reuse would say and answer them. Often when I’m being over anxious I imagine a particular family member telling me to slow down and take a breath. I know this may seem silly to some people. It works though. Most of the time.


Ok that was a very brief delve into my mind.Hope you enjoyed it.Just out of interest what are your eccentrics?Let me know.
Have a good day

THE IMPORTANCE OF TAKING TIME FOR YOU

Good evening. Well here we are again. In the new year I promised to post more regularly. Now January is nearly over. I did actually start a couple of posts but they were even more all other the place than my usual efforts.
I think January was always going to be a hard  month. A second year of covid still being ever present. Another lockdown. January is already known to be a month where we feel down. We have blue Monday after all. Still it can be said this year took it to whole new scale. My experience was interesting.
This is hard to explain. I have been working from home a lot recently. My time since last year has been split between home and the office. For the first couple of weeks of January I worried a lot. I couldn’t switch my brain off. I found myself thinking about things I hadn’t done wondering if I should have done things. Some of these related to my main job. Some related to my voluntary role as an advocate of equality and diversity. I couldn’t seem to stop overanalysing everything. It’s ridiculous I know I’m doing ok. I make mistakes but people appreciate I try hard. It’s funny I got like that at the start of this year. I’d been working from home for ages. It seemed like the lines between home and work were becoming more and more blurred.Switching on for work was hard. Taking my mind off it was difficult in the evening my mood was still affected.Recently it was announced we would be working from home 70% of the time.Something in my brain kicked.I decided enough was enough.I’m only one man. I deserve to switch off. So I made a real effort to stop work and do other things. I helped with tea. I went jogging. I did some online writing events.I felt great.I realised that you can only give so much of yourself. I care about work.I also care about my family and friends.I also love creative writing and have many events I do.I am a keen runner. These things are off equal importance to me. No passion should consume your whole life. We’re all multi layered. We need to make time for ourselves.
This being unable to disengage isn’t new. I used to get it at school a lot. When I worried about things they would make me toss and turn. Not even big things but stuff like dealing with people I didn’t like or having to spend a lesson doing something I wasn’t good at. I’d spend too long driving myself mad.Even things I enjoyed had this effect, I’d be watching a show or reading a book and would have to finish it. If not I’d be annoyed for ages. My mind still on the plot while at school. As I got older it manifested in different ways I tried to stick to a routine. When I was unemployed it was go to bank Monday, visit remploy for career advice. Then in the afternoons I visited my grandad. I remember getting annoyed once when a friend kept persisting on meeting up one monday. I got very annoyed as I had MY PLANS. In hindsight it seems silly. Such routines helped me transition into independence however. Getting my job helped me it made me have more focus be more flexible. I had to change my routine accept less time to myself. A tough adjustment, but worth it. No routine should control your life. Especially if you don’t enjoy it.
I realise reading the above that I switched from talking about fixating on passions/hobbies to talking about routines. For many of us on the spectrum though the two are very much linked.My advice whether it’s work. A personal project. Or something of great importance. Make time for you. You may worry if you stop paying attention you’ll lose touch but think
What is the most that can happen while you are gone? Will it be that bad?
Is it really that important it’s done now? Will you taking a break make a huge impact? Possibly for 1% of people but let’s face it properly not.
Be honest?do you really think your giving it your best right now?
Seriously switching off after work was my best idea this month. My work is better I’m calmer. I feel happier.
So my last bit of advice don’t feel guilty enjoy yourself. I know that is advice that you may hate me for at this moment in history but do. Take a break. Read a book. Watch a film. Do whatever you need to calm down. You deserve it

That’s it from me for now night folks

Happy new year and christmas reflections

Good eveningHappy new year.🥳Hope you all had a very good christmas and new year. I would like to wish you all the best for 2021.

Sort up for not updating recently been a bit busy. So now the business of the holidays is behind us it time for the shame we all put ourselves through at the start of each year before giving up and saying we tried. New Years resolutions.I have two resolution to save money and be healthier. So on New Year’s Day I had a soothing healthy mud bath. Except I didn’t book one. I decided on a whim. Ok I didn’t exactly decide, it was unplanned. Ok I fell in the mud. I was walking with a friend and misjudged my steps and how wet the ground was. I fell like a stone. In my new jeans. Why I wore new jeans I don’t know. I then tried to clean myself using hand wipes before going to my luckily nearby home and changing.

So you can be reassured that while the world changed a lot in 2020. I will remain a child in a man’s form for a while yet. If nothing else if you fail all your resolutions remember that I a 32 year old man fell in the mud. You should then take pride your not that clumsy. If you did this too, let’s form a gang. 😁


That incident aside, I had a surprisingly good holiday. I know this Christmas and new year wasn’t what we’re used too but I was very proud of how people I know handled things.I won’t talk to much as I want to keep my day private but it was good. I ate a lot drank a lot. Got a good bit of exercise in run on Christmas Eve and  Boxing Day. Watched a few films. Great Christmas activity mocking made for tv films and secretly enjoying their escapism. Only after December 1st. Channel 5 stop showing Christmas films all November. I’m made to watch. I will find where you broadcast from next year. But in December it’s ok.

All jokes aside as I say it was good. An unusual holiday but still enjoyable. I know I was luckier than some. Christmas was always going to be hard. The hardest thing about covid for those with a disability like autism has been without a doubt changes to their routines. Not been able to go places see people. Let’s face it Christmas provides lots of those which were off this year. It was hard for me not being able to see friends before Christmas day. Normally I go for a meal with a small group. Obviously this year that wasn’t possible. At work we couldn’t have our usual decorations and night out. The worst thing was properly for me all the shows the Panto’s my mum’s in a Choir which would have been lovely to see. We all missed things this year. Stuff like that like that is part of the sacrifices we all make. Work actually still managed to be a bit festive we did secret Santa, exchanged gift, there were a few other thing. So I didn’t feel that bad. I missed some things but it’s just how it is.Many people I know will have seen no family or just had a short visit. I was lucky. There’s not really a big message to this post but I want you all to know I wish you all the best for this year. I know it will have been a challenging holiday for us all. Hopefully we will see better times soon. Night folks

End of Disability History month Two books that moved me.


Good evening 

Sorry for not posting for a couple of weeks.

I’ve had a lot going on in my life. Nothing major just haven’t had time to update sadly.

Well yesterday was the last day of Disability History month. It’s been an interesting mont.

My workplace has done a lot to promote this. I won’t go into details here for privacy but for those who work in my organisation search the below hashtags on our Facebook group.

#DisabilityHistoryMonth

#UKDHM

I also posted some content on my personal Facebook and Twitter using the above.

Thank you to all those I work with who got involved this month to raise awareness of Disabilities of all kinds. In fact thank you to everyone who shared their stories. 

One of the most successful things my organisation did was to share motivational books. I really wanted to share a couple of books on here but worried my choices might not be good enough. I am a mixed reader. I pretty much read what I want always have done.

Still I was worried. Lots of the books being shared were autobiography’s or in depth studies. I mainly read novel not autobiographys.

I know I should read more books like that.

As someone who is so big on equality and diversity it will only enhance my knowledge.

I’ve started a couple this year and did think about using them. However as I have not finished them I did not feel I could do them justice.

So finally I decided to stop worrying and  list a couple of fictional books I’d read around different disabilities. They are books I read when I was younger that stuck with me.

I was a bit frustrated as there was a book I read a couple of years ago around a person with autism try as I might I could not remember the name. I will keep thinking 

I did manage to locate a couple of books though. I debated for ages and decided to pick my favourite:

Stuck In Neutral by Terry Trueman:

This book centres around 14 year old Shawn McDaniel. Shawn is very bright boy he remembers almost everything he learns. He has a loving family and is a very funny person.

The bad news is no one knows Shawn is funny or smart.  Shawn has severe cerebral palsy. It is something he was born with. He has no control over his muscles no means of communication and no hope of improvement. No one knows he is conscious of his surroundings.

Terry Trueman based this book around his son Henry. He knew there was a tiny percent chance his son could be aware. Almost non existent. He wrote this book for his son.

It remains to this day one of my favourite books.

Despite his condition Shawn loves his family and finds joy in his life. His family’s kindness the city in which he lives in. His father worries that he may be living a life of pain. Shawn has no way to tell him otherwise.

This novel struck a chord with me because of one very important thing. The biggest agony the main character feels is that he will never be known or truly understood. Everyone perceive him to be a simple unaware individual and with motor control he has no means to do anything about it ever. You’d think this would be a sad story and it is in parts. Somehow though Terry Trueman manages to weave a poignant story that made me really think when I first read it at 17 how easy it is to judge people and make see what we want.

Only criticism I’d give is that the main character was perhaps to socially aware considering his life. This was explained slightly that it took him a while to piece some things together and he is very smart but still doesn’t know how some thing work. Actually I liked it when he talked about seeing a poster for The Marabo man and though his dad was “The McDaniel man” That was actually something I could relate to as a person on the spectrum not connecting the dots.

There’s also a few scenes that are not spiritual but where the character talks about having an out of body experience. These may not be liked by all readers. It’s left up to you to decide if these are real are hallucinations. To be honest I liked these scenes they were interesting and well written. They are a bit out of place with rest of story but I think were put in as a form of escape. They give the main character a rare sense of freedom and are actually liberating bits. He talks in one scene about all the thing he does. Such as running, laughing and dancing . He imagines other taking such joy all the time. It stuck with me because we don’t 

We don’t always take joy in what we can do. Often we ignore a lot of activities put off what we could do today. Often we complain when we have nothing to complain about. We are lucky all of us who can move at will. Who can run, or jump or do anything. These scenes seem fanciful but they make sense.

It also fits back into the novels major theme. The desire to be known Shawn knows he never will be. His trips or hallucinations give him a rare  glimpse. I think the author wanted us to know how lucky we are. 

I can’t say much more without spoiling the book. I will warn there are a couple of distressing scenes nothing too bad. The characters condition is discussed in front of him at times. There is one scene where it is done so negatively. I think these scenes were meant to be sad and highlight how he is misjudged.

Just a trigger warning though.

This book is well worth a read. 

There was a sequel last year. I personally did not find it as moving. Perhaps it’s because I read it later in life. Anyway will let you all make your own judgment

Also very briefly I was going to do two big review but the above just went on. Still I want to mention another book I love very briefly:

35 Kilos of hope by Anna Gavalda:

This is a young adult book. Gregory has Attention Deficit Disorder. That’s what they say. He knows the real problem. He hates school. He can’t focus there. He can’t do it. He would rather be in his grandad’s workshop. Gregory is not stupid he can build and fix anything. His parents love him but only want him to work harder. Gregory just wants to do his own thing and keep fixing things. However he keeps getting held back. To his surprise even his beloved grandad is starting to lose patience. It’ll take a bit of understanding and hard work on both sides but Gregory has to learn how to have faith in himself. This is another great read for anyone who’s struggled in a conventional school setting.

Ok if you’ve read this far. You win…my respect.

Well done. Honestly it was hard to pick. I meet a lot of poets I did consider many books. These two have always move me through so I went with my gut. I think I like them more because I read them when I was young. I think they made me think. Question how I myself processed things

Right sorry for rambling on so much 

Thanks again to everyone who helped to promote Disability History Month

To everyone with a Disability your amazing well done.

Thank you all for reading good night.

My response to being told “Good luck with your Autism”

Hi hope your well. Apologies in advance this post  may upset some people. I just felt annoyed and needed to share. I use the website reddit. A big feature of Reddit is you can share stories and anecdotes. It’s an anonymous site, unless you choose to let people know your real identity. So it’s a good way to express yourself and let off steam. Details and names are changed in most posts. I recently posted an anecdote from my family’s past on there. I got permission first from those involved and made sure no information gave a clue to real identities. My anecdote was a funny story and was well liked. Surprisingly I got a message to my account asking if my post could be used in a YouTube video. Yes that’s a thing video where people read stories posted on the internet are quite common. Yet I’m the weird one to some people owning so many books? (Separate issue) I said yes. We exchanged a few polite messages where I was told the name of the channel, when the video would be posted etc. I felt mildly happy. Not a huge deal but hey sort of cool to a closet geek like me. Then I got annoyed. Video starts ok. The text doesn’t always flow well in places. I would have emphasised some bits more slowly. Fair enough though not a big deal. Then at the end they say. “Good luck with your autism” I think to myself the hell?!!!! To clarify In the post which is about a relative I mention autism once. I say my relative was a good person and were always kind to me growing up as I have autism and got upset sometimes. That is one line. One line in three paragraphs in a story set before my birth. So not about me at all. I get in some way the YouTuber was trying to be nice. It felt a bit insulting though. They could have said. “Thanks for your story best wishes” Or if my post had been about my autism. It would have at least made sense. It wasn’t though. At all. It frankly sounded condescending. They may as well have added “You need it” after good luck. I mean I had exchanged multiple messages with this person we didn’t discuss it at all. It wasn’t relevant. Bluntly they wouldn’t have known had I not said. Don’t get me wrong. I embrace being on the spectrum celebrate it. That being said as a high functioning man on the spectrum it for me, doesn’t have to be the main focus all the time. Look I get that if someone is on the spectrum not everyone knows how we think. It’s good to ask if we need support in some areas such as: At College, at Work, during Interview, Before medical appointments. Stuff like that I get. We don’t all need extra support  but many adults on the spectrum even those who are high functioning to need more help in some areas. They don’t know our individual needs unless they ask. We’re all different I myself struggle with directions when going somewhere new. I appreciate more help to prepare. Not everyone on the spectrum has that issue. So it’s good to acknowledge our needs when relevant. That being said it doesn’t mean it has to be the focus of everything we do. If I hadn’t mentioned it for example and applied for say a loan. Can you imagine them bringing it up then? To me an adult with a job and his own bank account. Who pays taxes It would be insulting. It would be making an assumption based on me have autism. So my point? Bluntly I was very annoyed that they wished me good luck with my autism so casually. As though it were a struggle or a burden.Something to be got over. It was totally unnecessary and made my skin crawl. Worst thing is I’m sure they thought it was a nice thing to say.
Yet autism and Aspergers is part of us, shapes us but it’s not us entirely.Don’t make assumptions We are more than just people on the spectrum. We are people.
I’ll finish with this. Some of you may not see this as a big deal. I think only those on the spectrum will truly get my frustration. However imagine if the comment had been directed at yourself If it had been about gender, cultural background or any personal believes. Would it have been a big deal then, to wish good luck? You’d feel angry I bet. That’s a part of you not an obstacle. People need to think sometimes.

Disability History Month

Good evening 

Hope your all well
This Wednesday was the start of Disability History month which runs from the 18th November to the 18th December and is aimed to promote awareness and understanding of all disabilities Read about it here.https://ukdhm.org/The theme this year is Accessibility

My trust is doing a lot of exciting things for this month. I won’t go into to much detail on this blog as they are internal activities. However if you work for my trust and want to learn more you can find more information on the intranet. Also by searching for the below hashtags on the our Facebook page

#DisabilityHistoryMonth

#UKDHM

I will also be very active on both the work and my person social media this month.

Ok now I would like to speak about Accessibility for a moment. I am not an expert on this topic. I fully admit that. So I will be speaking from my own experience which relates to Autism and Hidden Disabilities. School was hard for me. As a child I did not learn to read till age 10 and a half. Which may surprise those who know me. I struggled to integrate and stay focused. My diagnosis took a long time as well without going into details. My school was very good. They really brought me out of my shell. I owe them a lot for giving me a safe space and helping me grow. I think however I failed to realise how harsh the outside world could be. The reason I told you about school was because I learned the hard way that others can be harsh and judgemental. As I got older it became apparent that people make many assumptions. The trouble is that if you don’t behave how people perceive you should be to be “Normal” they can be dismissive.  Paradoxically if you integrate well it can also be hard to get through to others. It’s all to common for people to say “You don’t look autistic” or to be told then make assumptions about your level of understanding. This makes me so angry. So they either assume your “ok” are they invent their own person and project them that on you. Ok I will mention a few specifics here as I realise this is a bit vague.Public transport was hard for me when I first started using it. The noise the loud people. Knowing what stop to get off at. It’s not so bad now. I’m fine when I know the route. When being the key word.I find travelling to new places really hard even now. I can do it. But I cannot just hop on the bus and relax. I have to triple check the route. I have to know when to get off.I took a train earlier this year to get to the National Autism conference (just before covid) it was exceptionally hard to get someone to actually explain where to go and not just point vaguely.  People assume things is what I’m saying. They assume knowledge. The trouble is knowing your rights. Often people don’t even think to ask for extra support or know it’s available. It’s astounding how many people with hidden disabilities don’t wish to disclose or ask for support. I think many people are afraid of being judged by others pre conceived ideas. I get that it’s happened to me. Remember what I said about people treating you differently? I still remember vividly someone at a careers event who began talking to me like I was 10 as soon as I said I had autism. Basically acted like I wouldn’t know what a job was. In retrospect wish I’d done something there but I was unemployed and less confident than. It’s sad how many people have such fixed ideas. It’s still worth disclosing a disability though. Yes there are loads of bigots but there are lots of supportive organisations too.I’m not just talking about work here. I mean school, college, services. There are many services which are lacking. From my own experience learning to drive is one. It’s very hard not impossible but hard to find a instructor who can be adaptable to everyone’s needs.

Also public transport as mentioned before is hard at times. I had a gold card for years which is a disabled pass. I was only asked a handful of times if I needed any help. I didn’t except for as I say going to new places but it’s nice to be asked. As I said I had to ask a few times to get help at that train station. So I would fully encourage you to take any support your offered. If it doesn’t work for you or you find you don’t need it just explain that.  Just don’t be afraid to enquire I realise this post has been a bit all other the place but if you do have a learning disability or a hidden disability Mencap has some great tips on how to know your rights https://www.mencap.org.uk/about-us


Ok. Elephant in room.I know this post did not cover all areas of accessibility and focuses primarily on Autism and Hidden Disabilities. I chose to focus these areas deliberately. I do believe things have improved since I was young in terms of education and care but I’m not a healthcare or social worker and felt I could not do justice to some of the other areas.  So it seemed more appropriate to stick to what I knew. Just wanted to explain that 
I would like to encourage you all though. We all have life’s we all have our views.Please I ask you whether you have any form of disability or not to get involved this month. If you do have a Disability what is it? What does it affect in your life that other don’t think about? What is the most common misconception?
Do you work with people with Disabilities?What changes have you seen?What needs to be changed?Please share your stories.Remember the hashtag too Ok good night. Thank you all for reading 

#DisabilityHistoryMonth

#UKDHM

Using Social Media Responsibly

Good evening I hope your all well.   Sorry for posting a day late. Yesterday got away from me a bit. Even though I did nothing? One of life’s mysteries how that happens.


Due to lockdown social media platforms are big now. Everything’s online. Classes. Work meeting. Choirs. Loads of my poetry events have moved to zoom. It’s good that people are still able to feel connected. I’ve posted before about my love hate relationship with social media https://punton9.wordpress.com/2019/02/10/my-issues-with-instant-communication/
https://punton9.wordpress.com/2019/07/15/put-that-phone-down/
I’m not a technophobe. Well not totally. I love my phone. I admit it. I love watching you tube. Playing a game on Facebook. Anyone else addicted to battleships? It’s great as well for plugging this blog. Speaking of which 👋  So yes social media can be great. It makes keeping in touch with friends and family easier. It’s great for finding information. There are so many creative writing events, that I’d never have heard of without it. The trouble is it’s a two edged sword. Yes sites like Facebook are great for keeping in touch but, trouble is with who and how? Be honest. How many of you have met someone at a workshop, night out or at a activity added them on Facebook. You mean to get in touch but you live in different areas, your busy etc. Two years later you get a notification. Who is this?Also you get to much info. It’s impossible to keep track. How do you prioritise all those notifications. Tweets, Facebook messages tags. It used, I have to admit really stress me. Part of my Aspergers is that I feel guilty for ignoring people. When I first started using social media. I worried that if I didn’t reply to comments or tweets or whatever people would think I didn’t care. I had to learn what most people have naturally. The ability to prioritise it. It took a shoot but I learned to give things a more cursory read. Often it would be a post I’d commented on but was no longer part of the discussion. Or just a friend posting a daft joke. It’s like anything else you just need to trust your own judgment. Is this that important? Really think it gets easier with practice.I don’t know for certain if this is a me issue only but I am sure I can’t be the only one on the spectrum who had trouble with this.
I have a couple of tips that I use
1: know what you use social media for. I use it for running, creative writing networking.  Among a few other things. You don’t need to have your whole life on there. Which brings me to point 2
2: Don’t use it as your social life. I know social media is a great way of staying in touch. Many friends do connect. However don’t expect to much from it. I was initially obsessed with Facebook likes having a high friend list. I know it can be easier to talk online. Some sites like twitter and Reddit are great as can they offer anomyinity. Many people feel they can be more themselves online. This can be good as long as your careful. Leading to point 3
3: Be careful. This is a long one.As I said many sites allow you a degree of anonymity. This can create a lot of false confidence. I myself once years ago got into a rather silly argument with someone on a site where only username were required. It was ridiculous and stressed me out. False confidence online goes both ways there are a lot of unpleasant people out there. So make sure your careful what you say. Be very careful taking to anyone you don’t know. This is even more important on sites where your name is shown like Facebook. You don’t even have to be friends with the person, often anyone can see your posts. This may not seem like a big deal but if you say something silly or that you don’t mean. Well it’s out there. Even deleting it a day later won’t stop loads of people seeing it. So bluntly,make sure you don’t say anything you wouldn’t be comfortable with the whole world seeing. 
4: This last tip is easy. Turn it off. Admittedly this is only a short term solution. It does help though. I have very limited notifications for social media on my phone. If I want to see my notifications. I go onto the site. I’m saved a constant barrage of pings and phone vibrations. I honestly don’t know how that doesn’t drive most people mad. Taking breaks helps. Keeps you from losing track of the real world 

A few anecdotes

Good evening Before getting into tonight’s post I’d like to be serous. Today as you all know was Remembrance Sunday. I watched some of the ceremonies on the news today. It must have been so hard for all the people who could not pay their respects as they normally would. I’d just like to thank all those who’ve given their life serving this country and all who’ve served. Sometimes we need to be reminded the world is bigger than ourselves. Thank you for your service.


Ok onto the main post. I thought today I would talk about something fun. Why you may ask ? Well we’ve just entered a second lockdown here in the UK and in the US a man called Donald is angry that he didn’t get his own way. So I’m going take some time to I have a few anecdotes. These are times when I was a little bit of jerk. Well not really on purpose but I certainly can certainly see now what I did wrong. Hindsight is a cruel thing.


1: But you say it: When I was younger. My sister would use the common slang term man when annoyed with me. Like if I made a mess it would be “Ross man be careful” Once I decided I’d do likewise she annoyed me in some minor way by changing the channel I was watching “Lisa woman I was watching that” I saidShe turned and explained you can’t call a girl or lady “woman” as it sounded rude.I said “but you call me Ross man. Why can’t I call you Lisa woman?” I was so annoyed by what I perceived as hypocrisy.  My kid brain admittedly didn’t think the word hypocrisy but it was the gist. My poor sister


2: Exact words: I remember once my dad asked me not to wake him super early. He meant stay in bed. I interpreted as get up on my own at half six turn on telly and make a mess when I got breakfast. (Actually come to think of it I still make a mess)


3:What time is it?: Years ago when I was about 17, I went to the library one day. It was 18:57 remember that. I approached the counter with a big pile of books.Me: I’d like to check these outStaff: I’m sorry we can’t Me: I have a ticketStaff: The computers are off Me: Can’t you put them on again?Staff: No we shut at 7pmMe: It’s only 6:58Other staff member: You should have been on timeMe: (getting stressed) I still have two whole minutes!!!The look they gave me then. Utterly baffled.Basically I left mumbling about how unfair it was when I still had two minutes. Funny it was really stressed me at the time but feels funny now. It’s so funny how indignant and hard done by I felt. I suppose learning to prioritise and be considerate is part of maturing.


4:Why are you waving:I haven’t been the best in the past at picking up cues.I remember clearly once years when I first started work I was talking to a colleague and someone who I later learned was senior came in. I was just chatting away about something non work related but was still working. My colleague started waving their hand. I said “Are you ok” they told me there was a visitor I said hello to the visitor and started talking again. They again waved and pointed. I was confused. Later they said to me they didn’t want me to have my conversation in front of that person. I said “Why it wasn’t a rude conversation” then after a pause “Why didn’t you just say so instead of waving your hands” Their faces.I get it now in case you were wondering.


I hope you enjoyed these short tales. They’re all very true so red face here. Serious note here. These stories all have one thing in common, me not reading between the lines or reading cues. It so easy for most people but it took years for me. God I still remember when someone asked me for five minutes and I came back in six annoyed they weren’t done!!! Why are you annoyed it’s a minute extra!!! (Yes another true story)           I used to take words so literally it felt at times like the rest of the world was in the wrong. After all I followed the instructions how was I supposed to know  about the unsaid rule? Also who told everyone else? Did I miss the class? If your on the spectrum you’ve probably made a misstep at least once. No easy fix but I will say it gets easier. We all learn and in time you will start to recognise stuff more. Also don’t get annoyed I did in a couple of the above tales and it did no good. Remember people aren’t mind readers. Just try to be patient.I know easier said than done.Letting people know your on the spectrum can help though schools and workplaces are increasingly more supportive. So be bold
Ok that’s it for tonight.Stay safe 

A conversation with myself

Hi good evening. Sorry in advance normally I try to post things that I hope everyone can relate too.This I’m aware is a very all about me post.Still it’s my blog so…..
I’ve just finished a week off. I had a pretty good week actually. Managed to see a couple of people whilst still sticking to social distancing rules. Did a run each day as part of a personal challenge. I swear if I didn’t need money I’d do one every day. Also just vegged a bit so yeah on the whole a good week. There was only one thing I did that I regretted. My manager send me a email to my personal inbox asking about some training courses I might like. I said thanks then asked casually if some emails I’d set up to send automatically had sent. I was told they hadn’t but could wait till Monday. I felt annoyed as I had clearly told the email to send them automatically at a set day.I took out my work laptop logged on a checked my outbox. I then saw a few emails come up and started thinking “that a lot. Oh no. I’m working from home my laptop is so slow it’s to much….” I do this it’s part of my Aspergers I can’t leave things. I worry.Luckily that day another part of my brain kicked in. “Ross it’s Thursday you are off work till Monday. What is the worst thing that can happen. Your team is nice. Even if you do have a few emails it’s not a huge deal.” The weak me feebly held on “Some of these look complicated” My stronger self “It doesn’t matter. Relax.” So I did I had stuff to do. I was doing a fun run that night for Halloween plus I was doing some housework before getting the laptop out. No real point or moral to this post but I was proud of myself. I nearly got worked up but I stopped myself. That’s my achievement for the week 😂

Ok night folks